Mystery Worshipper: Cool Dude
Church:
Chelmsford Cathedral, Essex
Location: England
Date of visit: Saturday, 22 August 2026, 11:15am
The building
Built in the 15th century on the site of an earlier church, St Mary’s Cathedral looks like the large church of a prosperous market town. Which is exactly what it was until 1914, when it was designated the cathedral of the newly created Diocese of Chelmsford. The cathedral sits in the centre of a spacious churchyard where the grass is currently straw yellow due to the drought. There is a bell tower with a spike steeple on top; not tall by cathedral standards, but enough to give the building some authority in the middle of the town. Inside there are two north aisles which helps give the church a surprisingly spacious feel. There are a number of modern fittings and – where there was presumably once a reredos and high altar – a hanging comprised of a multitude of richly coloured crosses appliquéd in silk, like a vast bed quilt, which looked good under the east window. There was a pulpit and reading desk in cast metal on which were decorations like large brush-strokes; were they intended to evoke fish, or birds? There is a modern font, too, which was to be used today, rather reminiscent of a card table, I thought. Many of the windows contain stained glass, some of it gorgeous, but the church was nevertheless bright, ample light finding its way in from those windows with plain glass.
The church
The church operates as a cathedral and is the seat of a bishop. I got the impression they aim to be more the mother church of the diocese, setting out to be welcoming rather than to impress. I found it difficult to work out what it is like beyond Sunday services, as from the website it lacks some of the things you would expect in a successful parish. It is open every day for visitors, although Chelmsford is not really on a tourist route. I hope that midweek it escapes the downsides of mass tourism and is a prayerful place. Although it is one of the newest dioceses in England, it also one of the largest, with a population of 3 million, in 463 parishes and 588 churches.
The neighborhood
The centre of Chelmsford seems to be an area without residents and it was a bit bleak on a Sunday morning, in spite of sunshine. Apart from a dreary 1970s shopping mall, there is little of interest. The few small shops and numerous real estate agents dotted about were closed and only the inevitable, seedy-looking vape shops were open. There weren’t many pedestrians. However, the bells of the cathedral were being change rung and the joyous sound bounced around between the buildings, quickening the pace and gladdening the hearts of those heading for the choral Eucharist.
The cast
A cathedral canon presided, the dean acted as deacon, an archdeacon preached, accompanied by an altar party of six, an organist, choir of 10 and a beadle, who was as monumental as beadles should always be. Together they made a good procession.
What was the name of the service?
Choral Eucharist with Baptism.How full was the building?
About 140. Today there was a Christening party eagerly filling the front four rows and the density thinned out towards the back, a reversal of the usual pattern in an English congregation. Together, we comfortably occupied the church. We seemed to be all ages, types and configurations. A group of middle eastern men in their 20s sat as a group to one side in the aisle.
Did anyone welcome you personally?
In the porch, a prominent electronic display screen announced the times of Sunday services, which confirmed what the welcoming bellringers had already made clear: I was in the right place at the right time. The screen reminded me of a train departure board. The timing of this service at 11.15am seemed like a compromise between wanting to be late enough to accommodate a gathered congregation, potentially from across the diocese, but not so late that Sunday lunch was compromised. Inside, a welcomer on duty gave me the service booklet for the day.
Was your pew comfortable?
There must have been pews once, but all have been swept away and replaced with chairs of a standard sort. They were comfortable enough and the rows were not too close together, as rows of moveable chairs often are.
How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?
Lively. Among the baptism party, meeting, greeting and kissing like long lost friends, though I guess they mostly knew each other well and many were relatives. Choir rehearsing, various people hurrying to and fro on preparatory errands, a dress rehearsal for the baptismal parents, chatter among the congregation.
What were the exact opening words of the service?
We were welcomed from the pulpit by a lay person with a pronounced Dutch accent who announced that there would be a baptism that morning. After the processional hymn, it was the usual, ‘In the name of the Father…’
What books did the congregation use during the service?
The specially prepared service sheet combined everything, including readings, and was clearly set out. No juggling with books and paperwork here.
What musical instruments were played?
The organ, which was mostly in the west gallery, but seemed to have a department in the chancel too. It supported both choir and congregation well.
Did anything distract you?
Were those fish decorating the modern cast-metal pulpit and reading desk? Or birds? They were deliberate artistic gestures, so their ambiguity was of the tantalising sort.
Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?
A modern cathedral eucharist at a nave altar, with baptism, according to Common Worship. The key parts of the mass were sung by the choir. There was a family connection here as the choir was not the cathedral choir but a scratch group assembled by the father of the little girl being baptised. They acquitted themselves very well in the setting of the day, by Harold Darke (the composer who wrote one of the settings for ‘In the Bleak Midwinter’). It is not often that one has such wide family engagement in a baptism. The hymn singing was not timid either, which was nice.
Exactly how long was the sermon?
9 minutes.
On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
6 — She was reading the sermon, but gave the impression she was speaking without notes – until the moment she lost her place.
In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
She riffed on the idea of naming and identity, which was appropriate for a baptism and also incoporated a line from the Gospel of the day (Matthew 16:13-20) and its line ‘But who do you say I am?’
Which part of the service was like being in heaven?
The group of a dozen or so young middle eastern men watched the whole service attentively, particularly the baptismal rite around the font at the back of the church. After everyone else had received communion they lined up at the altar to receive a blessing which they were given with deliberation and grace. They bowed reverently for this but didn’t cross themselves, and my hunch was that they were visitors from the house of Islam. If they – and everyone else – hadn’t left so quickly after the service I would have gone to talk to them. As it is, my hunch remains unconfirmed.
And which part was like being in... er... the other place?
Not hellish – but those distracting fishes, birds… whatever, on the pulpit.
What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?
Only the baptism family party lingered – perhaps they were adjourning for a private family lunch? Most of the rest of congregation left promptly and the cathedral was pretty empty by the end of the organ voluntary. I therefore didn’t speak to anyone.
How would you describe the after-service coffee?
As far as I could see there was no coffee or other catering, a further sign perhaps that this is a cathedral and not a parish church.
How would you feel about making another visit (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
7 — The Eucharist had the appeal of cathedral worship but on a more friendly intimate scale.
Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
Yes.
What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time ?
The screen like a train departures board in the porch.